There! Right There! - Various Artists

There right there

Look at that tan well tinted skin

Look at the killer shape he's in

Look at that slightly stubbly chin

Oh Please he's gay totally gay

I'm not about to celebrate

Every trait could indicate the totally straight expatriate

This guy's not gay I say not gay

That is the elephant in the room

Well is it relevant to assume

That a man who wears perfume

Is automatically radically fey

But look at his coiffed and crispy locks

Look at his silk translucent socks

There's the eternal paradox

Look what we're seeing

What are we seeing

Is he gay

Of course he's gay

Or European

Ohhhhhh

Gay or European

It's hard to guarantee

Is he gay or European

Well hey don't look at me

You see they bring their boys up

Different in those charming foreign ports

They play peculiar sports

In shiny shirts and tiny shorts

Gay or foreign fella

The answer could take weeks

They both say things like ciao bella

While they kiss you on both cheeks

Oh please

Gay or European

So many shades of gray

Depending on the time of day the French go either way

Is he gay or European

Or

There right there

Look at that condescending smirk

Seen it on every guy at work

That is a metro hetero jerk

That guy's not gay I say no way

That is the elephant in the room

Well is it relevant to presume

That a hottie in that costume

Is automatically-radically

Ironically chronically

Certainly pertin'tly

Genetically medically

Gay

Officially gay

Officially gay gay gay gay

D**nit

Gay or European

So stylish and relaxed

Is he gay or European

I think his chest is waxed

But they bring their boys up different there

It's culturally diverse

It's not a fashion curse

If he wears a kilt or bears a purse

Gay or just exotic

I still can't crack the code

Yes his accent is hypnotic

But his shoes are pointy toed

Huh

Gay or European

So many shades of gray

But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday

Is he gay or European

Gay or european

Gay or Euro

Wait a minute

Give me a chance to crack this guy

I have an idea I'd like to try

The floor is yours

So Mr Architacos

This alleged affair with Ms Windam has been going on for

2 years

And your first name again is

Mikos

And your boyfriend's name is

Carlos

I'm sorry I misunderstand you say boyfriend

I thought you say best friend Carlos is my best friend

You bastard

You lying bastard

That's it

I no cover for you no more

Peoples

I have a big announcement

This man is Gay and European

And neither is disgrace

You've got to stop your being

A completely closet case

It's me not her he's seeing

No matter what he say

I swear he never ever ever swing the other way

You are so gay

You big parfait

You flaming boy band cabaret

I'm straight

You were not yesterday

So if I may I'm proud to say

He's gay

And European

He's gay

And European

He's gay

And European and Gay

Fine okay I'm gay

Hooray