A man walks down the street

He says why am I soft in the middle now

Why am I soft in the middle now

All my life is so long

I need a photo-opportunity

I want a shot at redemption

Don't want to end up a cartoon

In a cartoon graveyard

Bonedigger bonedigger

Dogs in the moonlight

Far away my well-lit door

Mr. beerbelly beerbelly

Get these mutts away from me

You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore

If you'll be my bodyguard

I can be your long lost pal

I can call you betty

And betty when you call me

You can call me al

A man walks down the street

He says why am I short of attention

Got a short little span of attention

And all my nights are so long

Wheres my wife and family

What if I die here

Wholl be my role-model

Now that my role-model is

Gone gone

He jumped back down the alley

With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl

All along all along

There were incidents and accidents

There were thoughts and allegations

If you'll be my bodyguard

I can be your long lost pal

I can call you betty

And betty when you call me

You can call me al

Call me al