If Dirt Were Dollars - Don Henley

Walkin like a millionaire

Smilin like a king

He leaned his shopping cart against the wall

He said I been a lot of places

And I seen a lot of things

But sonny I seen one thing that beats em all

I was flyin back from lubbock

I saw jesus on the plane

Or maybe it was elvis

You know they kinda look the same

Hey look out junior you're steppin on my bed

I said I don't see nothin

He just glared at me and said

If dirt were dollars

If dirt were dollars

If dirt were dollars

I wouldn't worry anymore

Lookin like a beauty queen

Loyal as a wife

She raised her little voice and testified

I am a good girl

I've been one all my life

But her virtue was as swollen as her pride

She shouldve had the oscar

She must have been miscast

Her fifteen minutes went by so fast

I said now baby have you got no shame

She just looked at me uncomprehendingly

Like cows at a passing train

If dirt were dollars

If dirt were dollars

If dirt were dollars

I wouldn't worry anymore

We got the bully pulpit

And the poisoned pen

We got a press no better

Than the public men

This brave new world

Gone bad again

Gods finest little creatures

Looking brave and strong

Whistling past the graveyard

Nothing can go wrong

Quoting from the scriptures

With patriotic tears

We got the same old men

With the same old fears

Standing at attention

Wrapped in stars and stripes

They hear the phantom drummers

And the nonexistent pipes

These days the buck stops nowhere

No one takes the blame

But evil is still evil

In anybodys name

If dirt were dollars

If dirt were dollars

If dirt were dollars

Wed all be in the black

If dirt were dollars

If dirt were dollars

If dirt were dollars

I wouldn't worry anymore

If dirt were dollars

If dirt were dollars