Tardigrade Song - Cosmo Sheldrake

If I were a tardigrade I'd move out from home

Why live In the shrubbery when you could have a throne

Pressure wouldn't squash me and fire couldn't burn

These are the things that I will never learn

These are the things I never will learn

I live In the shrubbery for that's all I crave

I don't want these excitements to see me to my grave

I can live life In vacuums for years with no drinks

And put up with hardships more than you can think

And put up with hardships more than you can think

If I shed all my liquid and let myself dry out

I'll shrivel and sleep for some 15 odd years

I'd wake up come water and get on with living

With time In my pocket to pass by the day

If I were a tardigrade I'd move out from home

Why live In the shrubbery when you could have a throne

Pressure wouldn't squash me and fire couldn't burn

These are the things that I will never learn

These are the things I never will learn

For I am a tardigrade and I'll stay at home

I'd not trade It for anything not a knife a cup or a throne

Well all I want Is my shrubbery and my little patch of moss

With my whisky In the cabinet

And my feet all clothed In socks

And my feet clothed In socks