You Can Call Me Al - Eddie Berman

A man walks down the street

He says why am I soft in the middle

Why am I soft in the middle

When the rest of my life is so hard

I need a shot at redemption

And I want a photo opportunity

Don't want to end up a cartoon

In a cartoon graveyard

Bone digger bone digger

Dogs in the moonlight

Far away from my well lit door

Mr Beer Belly Beer Belly

Get these mutts away from me

I don't find this stuff amusing anymore

So if you'll be my bodyguard

I can be your long lost pal

I can call you Betty

And Betty when you call me

You can call me Al

A man walks down the street

He says why am I short of attention

Got a short little span of attention

And woe my nights are so long

Where's my wife and family

What if I die here

Who'll be my role model

Now that my role model is

Gone gone

He ducked down the alley

With some roly poly little bat faced girl

And all along all along

There were incidents and accidents

There were hints and allegations

So if you'd be my bodyguard

I can be your long lost pal

I can call you Betty

And Betty when you call me

You can call me Al

A man walks down the street

It's a street in a strange world

Maybe it's the third world

And maybe it's his first time around

He doesn't speak the language

And he holds no currency

He is a foreign man

And he is surrounded by the sound

The sound

The cattle in the marketplace

Scatterlings of orphanages

And he looks around around

And he sees angels in the architecture

Spinning in infinity

And he says amen and hallelujah

So if you'll be my bodyguard

I can be your long lost pal

And I can call you Betty

And Betty when you call me

You can call me Al

If you'll be my bodyguard

I can be your long lost pal

And I can call you Betty

And Betty when you call me

You can call me Al

Ho ho ohh