JENNY：Bless this day

Pinnacle of life

Husband joined to wife

The heart leaps up to behold

This golden day

PAUL：Today is for Amy

Amy I give you the rest of my life

To cherish and to keep you

To honor you forever

Today is for Amy

My happily soon to be wife

Because if everybody's here

I'd like to thank you all

For coming to the wedding

I'd appreciate you going even more

I mean you must have lots of better things to do

And not a word of it to Paul

Remember Paul You know the man I'm going to marry

But I'm not because I wouldn't ruin anyone

As wonderful as he is

Thank you all for the gifts and the flowers

Thank you all now it's back to the showers

Don't tell Paul but I'm not getting married today

JENNY：Bless this day

Tragedy of life

Husband bound to wife

The heart sinks down

And feels dead

This dreadful day

A wedding What's a wedding It's a prehistoric ritual

Where everybody promises fidelity forever

Which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of

Which is followed by a honeymoon where suddenly he'll realize

He's saddled with a nut and want to kill me which he should

Thanks a bunch but I'm not getting married

Go have lunch 'cause I'm not getting married

You've been grand but I'm not getting married

Don't just stand there I'm not getting married

And don't tell Paul but I'm not getting married today

Go Can't you go

Why is nobody listening

Goodbye Go and cry

At another person's wake

If you're quick for a kick

You could pick up a christening

But please on my knees

There's a human life at stake

Listen everybody I'm afraid you didn't hear

Or do you want to see a crazy lady fall apart in front of you

It isn't only Paul who would be ruining his life

You know we'll both of us be losing our identities

I telephoned my analyst about it and he said to see him Monday

But by Monday I'll be floating in the Hudson with the other garbage

I'm not well so I'm not getting married

You've been swell but I'm not getting married

Clear the hall 'cause I'm not getting married

Thank you all but I'm not getting married

And don't tell Paul but I'm not getting married today

JENNY：Bless this bride

Totally insane

Slipping down the drain

And bless this day in our hearts

As it starts

To rain

PAUL：Today is for Amy

Amy I give you the rest of my life

To cherish and to keep you

To honor you forever

AMY：Go Can't you go

Look you know I adore you all

But why watch me die

Like Eliza on the ice

Look perhaps I'll collapse

In the apse right before you all

So take back the cake

Burn the shoes and boil the rice

PAUL：Today is for Amy

My happily soon to be wife

My adorable wife

But I may be coming down with hepatitis and I think I'm gonna faint

So if you want to watch me faint I'll do it happily

But wouldn't it be funnier to go and watch a funeral

So thank you for the twenty seven dinner plates

Thirty seven butter knives

Forty seven paperweights

Fifty seven candle holders

PAUL：One more thing

AMY：I'm not getting married

CHOIR：Amen

PAUL：Softly said

AMY：But I'm not getting married

CHOIR：Amen

PAUL：With this ring

CHOIR：Amen

PAUL：I thee wed

CHOIR：Amen

PAUL：Let us pray that we are getting married

AMY：Let us pray that we're not getting married

ALL：Today