Marshall vs. the Machines - Jason Segel

Gather round ye children

To hear the tale so sweet

Of a man who dared to race machines

With nothing but his feet

With hair of auburn beauty

A hero dressed in jeans

He's fighting for America

Marshall

Versus the machines

Ha

As marshall ran with all his might

And passed his friend Christine

Hey Christine

He thought of all the times that he had

Beaten the machine

He triumphed over pinball

He vanquished the alarm

He brought the jukebox back to life

With his fonzarelli arm

Marshall

Versus the machines

Move along

Yah

Move along

Yah

Our hero's strength was fading fast

Just as the light turnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ed green

He then thought back to all the times

He'd lost to a machine

The cable box's fearsome bite

The stapler's mighty sting

The cable box's bite again

Getting too tired

To sing