My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian

My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean

My sister's on the **

And my brother always picks his nose

And Daddy's only happy

When he's wearing Mama's pantyhose yeah

I just lost my job to a God damn robot (Good times )

Then my dog got in the freeze box he ate everything I got

But I've got my mule

He's a very very nice mule

He walks with me home from school

Cause he's a very very nice mule

When he was a baby my mother fed him gruel

But now he prefers to dine on his own stool

He always philosophizes with the rabbis after shul

Cause he's a very very pious mule

When he sees a picture of a carrot

He has a tendency to druel

On Halloween he tries to scare me

By dressing up as a ghoul

He once challenged someone who stole my hat to a duel

Cause he's a very very Old school mule

A needle-nosed plier is his favorite tool

He lifeguards on a volunteer basis and the Rec Center pool

When I break down on the side of the road

He shows up with unleaded fuel

He's a devoted fan of Ms Paula Abdul

And also approves of the recent

Makeover of former folkie Jewel

When I told him Halle Berry's husband cheated

He just shook his head and said to himself 'what a fool'

Cause he's a very very monogamous mule

Porkchop Wake up man the session's not over

After several well-publicized arrests for public urination

He now drinks exclusively O'Doul

And every year he puts on a presentation at the Boys Club

To show kids smoking isn't cool

His favorite Elvis song is 'Don't be Cruel'

No it's 'Hound Dog'

The Mule Session (Album Version) - Adam Sandler