Tuesday morning 815

I was riding to work on the

Jackson Park Express

Seemed like any other day

Then my whole world changed

In a way I never could have guessed

Cause she walked in

Took the seat right across the aisle

I knew we had a special connection

The second I saw her smile

She smiled as if to say

Hello Haven't seen you on this bus before

I gave her a look that said

Huh Life is funny you never know what's in store

By the way your hair is beautiful

I bet it smells like raisins

She looked at me in a way that asked

Did you have a nose job or something

I'm only asking cause your nose looks slightly better

Than the rest of your face

I arched my eyebrow ever so slightly

Which was my way of asking

Do you want my old Hewlett-Packard printer

It still works Kinda

And I got a bunch of ink cartridges left

Then she let out a long sigh

Which I took to mean Uh

Mama What is that deodorant you're wearing

It's intoxicating

Why don't we drive out to the country sometime

And collect deer ticks in a zip-lock baggie Oh yeah

I gave her a penetrating stare

Which could only mean

You are my answer my answer to everything

Which is why I'll probably do very poorly

On the written part of my driver's test

Yes It all happened

On the Jackson Park Express

On the Jackson Park Express

On the Jackson Park Express

On the Jackson Park Express

I knew she was starting to fall for me

Cause she crinkled her nose which unmistakably meant

Baby let's wear each other's clothes

And speak in a Victorian accent

And maybe someday we can own and operate

Our own mobile pet-grooming service

I couldn't hold back my feelings

I gave her a look that said

I would make any sacrifice for your love

Goat chicken whatever

I could never hold you close enough

Let's have our bodies surgically grafted together

Oh surgically grafted together

She picked up her newspaper and started reading to herself

Which I'm sure was a way of telling me

When you're cold I will warm you

When you're shivering I will hold you

When your nauseous I will give you Pepto-Bismol every hour

For as long as the symptoms persist

Oh I I never ever want to see you cry

So please let me cauterize your tear ducts with an arc welder

Then I glanced down at her shirt for a second

In a way that clearly implied

I like your *****s

I cleared my throat quietly and then I looked away

And I'm sure it was obvious to her just what I was trying to say

I was trying to say Hey

I'd like to make a wall-sized mural out of all the dead skin cells

That you slough off while you sleep at night

Whoa-o-Oh I'd like to rip you wide open

And french-kiss every single one of your internal organs

Oh I'd like to remove all your skin and wear your skin over my own skin

But not in a creepy way

Then I'm pretty sure she looked at me out of the corner of her good eye

And though she never spoke a word this is exactly what I heard

She was saying Oh

I wanna make out with you in an abandoned toll-booth in the middle of a monsoon

I wanna ride dolphins with you in the moonlight

Until the staff at Sea World kicks us out

I want you inside me oh like a tapeworm

I pointed to the side of my mouth as a way of indicating

Hey I think you got something on the side of your mouth

She licked the corner of her lips as if to say

Here I nodded implying Yeah you got it

And then the bus stopped at 53rd Street and she got up suddenly

Where are you going pleaded my eyes Baby don't you do this to me

Think of the beautiful children we could have someday

We could school them at home Raise them up the right way

And protect them from the evils of the world

Like Trigonometry and Prime Numbers oh no

Baby please don't go

She brushed my leg as she left the bus

I'm sure that was her way of saying

I'm sorry this just isn't working out

You're suffocating me

I need some space to find out what life's all about

So goodbye forever my love

And deep inside I knew she was right

It was time for us both to move on

And though I never got her number oh no no

She never bothered to leave her address oh

But as long as I live I'll never forget

Those precious moments we shared together

On the Jackson Park Express

On the Jackson Park Express

On the Jackson Park Express

On the Jackson Park Express

On the Jackson Park Express

On the Jackson Park Express

On the Jackson Park Express

On the Jackson Park Express