Pork Chop Song - David Munyon

I was in a big hotel

Outside of Baltimore

Then they had me handcuffed to the big turnstile

My stuff was rusted

Yes I was busted

But I knew I would prevail

Then a big old bald headed angel

Fluttered down on feathered wings

He said now Pork Chops

Is good with gravy

But you don't have to steel what you don't need

I said I was hungry

I didn't have no money

If I cut myself I probably would not bleed

I know I was stupid

But so was that cupid

That gave me them's desires for them's meats

Then a big old bald headed angel

Ask me where I was from

I said near Tulsa

He said why don't you

Go back home and get a job that'd be some fun

Well I said I had me a job

And it was a good paying job

As a cook in a cafe outside town

And we'd have the Pork Chops every night on special

And I guess that's where the wrinkle met the frown

Then a big old bald headed angel

Said there's places you can go to get some help

There's Pork Chops Anonymous

And it don't cost much

Just be honest with the group and be yourself

To make a long story shorter

They let me go with a warning

If I promised to be have myself

As I was leaving the jail house

This sign on anearly restaurant window

Said come on in we got these Pork Chops on special

Then the big old bald headed angel

Said you're gonna have to quit this stuff some time

I started shakin'

Probably from temptation

But I was able to just say no that one time

I was in a big hotel

Outside of Baltimore

They had me handcuffed to the big turnstile