If You Were Gay - John Tartaglia/Rick Lyon

Aah an afternoon alone with

My favorite book Broadway

Musicals of the 1940s

No roommate to bother me

How could it get any better than this

Oh hi Rod

Hi Nicky

Hey Rod you'll never

Guess what happened to

Me on the subway this morning

This guy was smiling at me and talking to me

That's very interesting

He was being real friendly

And I think he was coming on to me

I think he might've thought I was gay

Ahem so uh why are you telling me this

Why should I care

I don't care

What did you have for lunch today

Oh you don't have to get

All defensive about it

I'm NOT getting defensive

What do I care about some gay guy you met okay

I'm trying to read

Oh I didn't mean anything by it

I just think it's something we should be able to talk about

I don't want to talk about it

This conversation is over

Yeah but

OVER

Well okay but just so you know

IF YOU WERE GAY

THAT'D BE OKAY

I MEAN 'CAUSE HEY

I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY

BECAUSE YOU SEE

IF IT WERE ME

I WOULD FEEL FREE

TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY

BUT I'M NOT GAY

Nicky please

I am trying to read

What

IF YOU WERE QUEER

Ah Nickey

I'D STILL BE HERE

Nickey I'm trying to read this book

YEAR AFTER YEAR

Nickey

BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR

TO ME

Argh

AND I KNOW THAT YOU

What

WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO

I would

IF I TOLD YOU TODAY

HEY GUESS WHAT

I'M GAY

BUT I'M NOT GAY

I'M HAPPY

JUST BEING WITH YOU

High Button Shoes Pal Joey

SO WHAT SHOULD IT

MATTER TO ME

WHAT YOU DO IN BED

WITH GUYS

Nickey that's GROSS

No it's not

IF YOU WERE GAY

I'D SHOUT HOORAY

I am not listening

AND HERE I'D STAY

La la la la la

BUT I WOULDN'T GET

IN YOUR WAY

Aaaah

YOU CAN COUNT ON ME

TO ALWAYS BE

BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY

TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY

YOU WERE JUST BORN

THAT WAY

AND AS THEY SAY

IT'S IN YOUR DNA

YOU'RE GAY

BUT I'M NOT GAY

If you were gay

Argh