A tale of a crafty ol' robbery crew

They could clean any safe in a minute or two

They had hit every bank and post office too

They had snatched every diamond and valuable gem

Seemed like nothing could offer a challenge to them

Then one Christmas they hatched a most brilliant score：

A plan for a heist not attempted before

So they painted their guns white and learned how to ski

They got their disguise from a Christmas tree

Then they went to the North Pole as fast as could be

They were going to rob Santa's toy factory

My kind of crew like taking candy from a baby

They traveled through blizzards for over a week

'Til they saw Santa's factory up on a peak

By the candy cane fence they then started to sneak

Seemed security there was surprisingly weak

'Round the factory building came elves on the way

Bringing bags full of toys down to Santa's big sleigh

They were busy as bees but they froze at the sound

When our robbery crew shouted down on the ground

Then a plan as efficient as clockwork commenced

Where they melted away the elves' snowball defense

Then they hog tied the reindeers inside of their fence

And the helpers soon slept thanks to gas in the vents

Nice touch

They blew up the fuse box and turned on night vision

Then they utilized shape charges to get inside

They drilled through security doors with precision

Then manhandled Santa and had him tied

Serves him right big red f**ker

Santa was tougher to crack than they thought

He just wouldn't surrender the code for the vault

Though they stepped on his glasses so he couldn't see

And an ice pick was used to crack open his knee

Good one

After water board torture and kicking his balls

After hours of smashing his face into walls

They finally realized just what did the trick

When they threatened cut off Santa's beard so thick

You have got a dirty mind

So he gave up the code and they all gathered 'round

To find out just what treasures were there to be found

As the vault door swung open they realized why

A heist against Santa had never been tried

They looked in the vault and they all felt like rookies

See inside there were just lots of milk and cookies