Xmas Has Been X'ed - NOFX

It's funny how some fables became historic

When the authors clearly wrote

Them to be metaphoric

But people will believe anything if it's written

Especially in stone or ancient scroll

December 25th has been blacklisted

Since Dawkins found the proof Jesus never existed

It was the last thing anyone ever expected

Xmas has been X'd

No colored lights no shopping sprees

No more presents under dead trees

St Nick is dead but we don't grieve

We celebrate the last Christmas Eve

Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic

Protestants increasingly become agnostic

Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams

Priests and Nuns are molesting each other

Methodists and Baptists are claiming Buddhist

Evangelicals surprisingly are Nudist

But mostly everyone is trying to become Jew

Cuz Easter's canceled too

No more egg hunts no Sunday mass

Fridays are fair Wednesdays don't ash

They canceled lent and slowed down fast

Enjoy Christmas cuz it's your last

No shopping sprees (Don't worry son)

No more presents (We don't need christ)

Under dead trees (We got eight nights)

St Nick is dead (We got mitzvah)

But we don't grieve (The're all canceled)

We celebrate (Our Hanukah)

The last Christmas eve