Mungojerrie And Rumpelteazer - Andrew Lloyd Webber/Bonnie Langford/John Thornton

Lyrics by：T.S. Eliot/Andrew Lloyd Webber/Trevor Nunn/Richard Stilgoe

Composed by：Andrew Lloyd Webber

Mungojerrie

And Rumpelteazer

We're a notorious couple of cats

As knockabout clowns quick-change comedians

Tight-rope walkers and acrobats

We have an extensive reputation

We make our home in Victoria Grove

This is merely our centre of operation

For we are incurably given to rove

We are very well known in Cornwall Gardens

In Launceston place

And in Kensington Square

We have really a little more reputation

Than a couple of cats can very well bear

If the area window is found ajar

And the basement looks like a field of war

If a tile or two comes loose on the roof

Which presently fails to be waterproof

If the drawers are pulled out from the bedroom chests

And you can't find one of your Winter vests

If after supper one of the girls

Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls

The family will say it's that horrible cat

Was it Mungojerrie

Or Rumpelteazer

And most of the time they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a very unusual gift of the gab

We're highly efficient cat burglars as well

And remarkably smart at a smash and grab

We make our home in Victoria Grove

We have no regular occupation

We are plausible fellows who like to engage

A friendly policeman in conversation

When the family assembles for Sunday dinner

With their minds made up that they won't get thinner

On Argentine joint

Potatoes and greens

And then the cook will appear from behind the scenes

And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow

I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow

For the joint has gone from the oven like that

The family will say

It's that horrible cat

Was it Mungojerrie

Or Rumpelteazer

And most of the time they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a wonderful way of working together

And some of the time you would say it was luck

And some of the time you would say it was weather

We'd go through the house like a hurricane

And no sober person can take his oath

Was it Mungojerrie

Or Rumpelteazer

Or could you have sworn that it might have been both

And when you hear a dining room smash

Or up from the pantry there comes a loud crash

Or down from the library there comes a loud ping

From a vase which is commonly said to be Ming

The family would say

Now which was which cat

It was Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

And there's nothing at all to be done about that